i think you shook his penis after he was done peeing.
i was so high last night while i was driving i felt like i was riding a bike with no pedals
Our hot neighbor just came over and asked for a toilet plunger...not so hot anymore
taking shots each time the weatherman says Dont go out in this blizzard
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
God gave me these boobs for a reason other than for people to throw things down them.
A true measure of a good friend is how long she responds to her friends drunken illogical texts. Youre a champ.
I don't know, But i remember him licking ecstasy off my boobs and my boyfriend cheering him on
best. trip. ever. this is going to be too much fun. petland isnt going to know what hit them.
Oh if we have sex in public no one will frown upon it. They will stand and cheer for it
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He expects to fuck my tits but will ignore me in public.
Just chugged a Bloody Mary in 60 seconds flat. New personal best! Happy Sunday!
In other news, people don't judge you when you buy a vibrator if you buy a funny birthday card and bag with it. I learned that this weekend.
I just wish the first erections of my life didn't take place at a dentists office but hey whatever I turned out alright
Oh my god.. Saw a commercial for Captain Morgan. Made me gag a little bit.
Been smoking since 4. The inevitable finally happened: I bought a cheesecake.
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