You'd love this place it's beautiful. Plus these people smell like garlic
Would you still love me if I had no teeth
Yeah why?
Cuz i woke up this morning and a few are gone
Should study in library more often, procrasturbating is less of an option.
Well it went from being a hug to a straight out tackle through the back door.
What's a quick way to get over an ex-boyfriend? To hear about how he threw up in a cup and then drank it. That's how.
Dropping the entire last roll of TP into the toilet is a hurt you don't want to know.
You would think that me seductively unzipping my cat feetie pajamas would make him want to fuck me.
I'm sorry but if you can't drink a bottle of wine without a glass, I do not think we can be friends.
I did not get laid last night bc my condoms were too small. I'm allowed to be dreary
He sent me a dick pic from his living room and it has pictures of his three kids in the background
When I finally came to, I was in the DJ booth wearing his headphones while he was spinning. That's all I got.
did i get sucker punched in the face last night or was our make-out session just that intense?
Okay first of all fuck you and everything you stand for because Taco Bell is amazing.
Can I say it was a great night out of town? Fucking my co-worker in the hotel bed while my best friend is fucking his friend on the floor and a random guy is laying in the other bed meanwhile we are all passing a joint back and forth
My penis is lonely
So is my ring finger
Randomize
