I love you
are you drunk
yes but I def love you, we should get married
But I'm Jewish
embrace Jesus
Hopefully the semester will be over before she has a breakout. Then I can just avoid the situation entirely
so for future reference,at what point did you feel like a line had been crossed?
so im decorating easter eggs with my family and my mom is writing "Jesus is risen" and "God loves you!" on the eggs. i wrote things like "I'm naked!" and "there are drugs in these eggs!" on mine.
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i just got yelled at for having sex. this sorority thing is worst than being at home. at least at home they think im still a virgin
I realized I'm gonna have to fit cheating on my gf, sleeping with my gf and having dinner with her parents all into one Sunday evening
he went to find a bathroom and came back 10 minutes later with a fifth of bacardi, a pack of cigarettes, and two funnel cakes. he is a man among boys.
Ok well I'll be up all night studying if you need a wake up call or a place to put your penis.
Apparently, I kept going on about how i'm going to name my first born Ramen. I think this is a good parenting move.
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i figured out i could get from the downstairs bar to the upstairs bar AND grab pizza by going through the kitchen. it was the greatest discovery of my life besides the flabongo.
apparently, dueling with garden tools in Home Depot is strictly frowned upon
Totally thought something squeezed my boob. Then I remembered I was wearing a bra. Isn't weed great?
She tried doing a backflip and ended up doing somersaults down the entire stair case.
He asked if I was alright. I said "Yeah, I'm just an incapacitated ball of orgasmic bliss right now."
Where are you? Where am I? Why am I so red?
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