How was Slumdog? Did it pull your heartstrings?
It was entertaining. Better than most other Mexican films.
i woke up, turned over, and noticed an assortment of knives stuck in my wall. i should prob stop drinking
i wish i could shrink down to the size of his dick so i could just thank it in person.
All I remember is apologizing to his sister for being a bad influence while I was throwing up into a big gulp cup.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm pretty sure the guy she brought home is a polish porn star..
TO ALL WHO WERE IN MY HOUSE LAST NIGHT: WHOEVER STOLE MY BONG AND PUT IT ON THE ROOF WILL BE PAYING MY HOSPITAL BILL FROM LAST NIGHT.. AND BUYING ME A NEW, SWEETER BONG.
My mom now keeps ice cubes on hand for my bong water. We may be able to work this relationship out.
I think i should wear mittens next time we have sex.
I feel like we have both made good decisions regarding our vaginas lately
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My mom comes home from her weekend with her lesbian co-workers and asks "You wanna know how I got these bruises?" I've never been more torn about anything EVER.
My fridge door just caught on fire somehow.
WHO GIVES HANDJOBS AT 8 IN THE FUCKING MORNING
That awkward moment when the guy you were hitting on at the bar last night is a possible suspect in a murder case.
If I don't answer right away it's because I took an Adderall and the fridge needs cleaned.
He may have been a dick but he DID give me his Netflix log in. Maybe some good did come of it.
Randomize