its sad that the first thing i assume is that ur trying to indirectly tell me you fucked on a breakfast table
by asking you if you bought one for the apartment?
my bed looks and feels like i need to buy plan b.
I can't ever handle being "that girl" again. At least not until next semester.
my 3 favorite things in life are tequila, dicks, and making sandwiches. that DOES NOT make me a bad person.
look at his last status update. 3:41 a.m. "i love u and miss u already egg burrito. happy trails friend." OF COURSE HE SMOKES POT.
Hes a nice guy and all but I'm only interested in his drunken alter ego.
I remember you licked my face and said that's all you're getting
I'm not judging you. Just know that you could be Queen of The World. Instead you're 5:28 p.m ponging. I hope you're at least winning
How early is too early for a booty call on a Monday night?
He called me at 4am to ask me to marry him, then threw up into the phone for 10 minutes.
Sitting topless in my room drinking wine from a box... It's good to be back at school
Being a fine ass woman in a world full of fuckboys is the realest struggle I've ever known.
Have you ever been so high that you felt like corduroy? I'm at that level.
Like you can't just be like oh bb and THEN SEND ME A FUCKING PICTURE OF MY 8TH GRADE FAT SELF IN A TACO COSTUME
I'm sorry, but if I hear stories of you getting fingered in the ass, and selling weed, you are not coming to my party.
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