Oh and ps....i was sleeping soundly until i woke up by the sound of amy on the phone with her mom sobbing hysterically because she can't stop having the shits.
Ya after that i took a dump on a car... We're definitely partying with him again
Okay well someone asked "IS HE HOMELESS?" about me so I need to try and find somebody.
i think i had to give the cab driver my id to get home last night because i couldnt talk.
and being hungover still at 4 in the afternoon is NOT "having allergies"
Hey, I didn't ask that stripper to put her unds in my mouth, it was just covered by the plus package fee I ordered.
It feels like eating ice cream while riding a unicorn over a rainbow waterfall made of glitter.
That is possibly the gayest thing that was ever thought of by anyone anywhere.
I hat to flip my "days since last bad decision" chart back to zero. So...yeah. Sigh.
I'm like still hungover from the quinceanera.
I woke up with a meat pie in my hand and my mouth tasting like an ashtray. I'm a catch, really!
The last thing I remember is him yelling from across the room "WE FINISHED THE HANDLE!"
It was 11pm.
Well statistically J has a 1 in 3 chance of hospitalization when downtown
And a 3 for 3 for disapeearing
I'm pretty sure the rest of my evening will consist of masturbating, drinking tequila and watching children's movies.
I woke up in a bush somewhere in Tucson with a full suit on. Great way to end my birthday.
Just woke up to the cat unconscious on my stomach, his face between my tits, purring to bring down the walls. I'm endeared and horrified at the same time.
Randomize
