fuck dude i blacked out on a tuesday. what am i doing with my life?
Winning.
Coffee flavored vodka sounded like such a good idea at the time. Now i never want to drink coffee again.
fter the third song from an iPod commercial played I realized how much that frat sucked.
How long can I microwave pasta with a 20 percent alcohol content?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
does it still count as break up sex if it's 4 months later? sorry i'm just looking for an excuse to fuck him.
She wanted to to do it on top of a horse, I can't compete with that
Oh god. Just tried to hail a pizza delivery car. Awkward.
International sake day = success
I think I may be the only girl in the world that can say she has fallen asleep grasping a penis..... 3 different times...... 3 different penises
Well I'm going to San Francisco next weekend for pride. I'm sure I'll end up drunk and on a beach at some point.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I got an assistant at work. First task was picking me up at a strip club. I was drunk and trying explain how it was work related
I mean like, I missed 30 minutes of star wars to fuck you on Christmas so you must be worth something
Oh honey. I will not JUST be drunk. I will be spring break drunk. Spectacularly hammered. It will be glorious for all watching and embarrassing for anyone that has to drag me to bed.
Once you find out someone has a small dick, you never look at them the same again.
I woke up with a treasure map drawn on my ass. Whattt.
Why would I want a relationship when I’m the side dick for my boss and a few women from the gym
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