She had hickeys... what's up with that?? HAHAHA
It was kinda weird being the boss
Did you feel like Tony Danza?
I think you should know he took my pants (buttons and zippers included) and my thong off with his mouth alone. I found my husband
He just spent five minutes trying to sling shot a cheese-it off his dick and into my mouth.
Plus she can make a mean sandwich! That's all I really need. Well that and foot jobs...
Just pulled an upper-decker at a hardware store. I believe I'm winning 8-2. It's obvious you don't shit enough in public.
Should I tell her she gave me head in the kitchen while I was eating a cupcake or would that hurt her dignity too much?
Hello Officers/Paramedics, judging by last night, my friend is dead. The money in his pockets is mine, he owed me. Please send me directions to whichever morgue/strip club for pick up.
I fell down the stairs while taking the dog out last night. I was laying there with the dog licking me face and my neighbor just stepped over me
Just gave my thesis presentation, pretty sure I made out with the admissions woman last night.
He came so hard that he yelled what sounded like a spell from Harry Potter.
Lol. I get my husbands paycheck every week. Immediate deposit into my purse next to his balls.
well considering the guy who just delivered my cookies had to console me as i had a mental breakdown in front of him i'd say i'm 4/10 right now, thank you
You offered the police officer a Snickers ice cream bar and cried when he wouldn't take it...
I think I just sharted jello shots
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