we dont do blackfin have a good night :)
I cut my penus on the lid.
the cop asked for your social security number and you gave her your high school locker combo
It's weekends like this that make it obvious why we have to pay to come to college.
i just got on a party bus. i think i left my belly button at the bar.
Do you think the Slutcracker will use the original score? I'll be so sad if they don't.
Cognac is not meant to be taken in shots. I just wanted you to know the desperation of last night.
gay flight attendant. racoons. kegels. bartender with missing teeth. too many birthdays. fucckk.
We kept trying to bring you to the hospital but you had a tantrum and kept saying you would never be Miss America
I need to puke. I need a shower. I need rehab. I need to detox and puke. I feel like demons are inside of me.
It was like giving head to a cactus.
I think my dove chocolate wrapper just told me to masturbate.
I've spent my afternoon dipping strawberries in DayQuil if that's any indication of where I'm at in life.
he told me his feelings for me AFTER sex, so that means he meant it right?
It should be perfectly legal to tase anyone not wearing a mask.
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