thanks...oh and i got my period
told you
oh hush
We had to leave the bar because you were trying to show the bartender your boobs for water.
don't pay it forward
I eont pay shit forward. told a stranger to call an abulance and peaced
Hahahaaa There's this one girl crying hysterically and wrapped around (i believe) her ex's leg. He's trying to shake her off without spilling his beer. This is fucking priceless.
I gather from Facebook you got drunk last night and took semi naked pictures of yourself?
And anyway at least being paid in opium makes a cool story
You yelled This cop is arresting me for possession! Possession of MARIJUANA!!", everyone cheered, and you let him handcuff you and take you away.
There's something really beautiful about walk of shaming past the Capitol.
I'm proud of you for choosing to be an organ donor on your fake!!
I wish everyone could suck his dick. It was an honor.
He told me I was a good dog mom. I've never been so turned on in my life
After we'd both come, we started writing a book about dragons. Woke up this morning to a full English breakfast. Can't thank you enough for introducing us
The magnum condom fits. I feel like a manly version of cinderella
Had a dream we were competing for tomatos.
You know how last week before we left I was drinking outta that blue cup and I left it sitting across the road. Well, it hadn't moved and my family just found it, brought it inside and cleaned it. I think this cup is my soulmate.
Randomize
