If you did the rosary as much as you masturbated, you would be the pope
So i learned you can't hair-of-a-dog jaeger hangovers.
It's safe to say that bucket of tequila night can NEVER HAPPEN AGAIN.
Fun fact of the day: Our cat does not like rum.
i vomited out of my nose in three different houses so far, i will be back for my boots tomorrow
I got really upset at the McDonald's worker. They should serve nuggets 24/7. Apparently 5am is breakfast for some people.
only i would grind with someone to harp music at a gay wedding
Just reminding you that you are currently drunk spooning a chair saying it "loves you unconditionally". No more rum.
Happy you have kids and I don't day!
Pride is not for the college student young Padawan. Tequila is for the college student.
Update: that felon in Georgia I slept with is now a police officer. What a wonderful world
"I'm 95% straight," he says. Cut to him on his knees...by far the most beautiful guy I've ever fucked.
I mean, I was expecting a little more coke snorting and a little less kids and cake
i think i puked but i couldve been a dream and i may have madeout with a 20 something guy infront of my managers...also possible dream.
I was singing Colors of the Wind and swigging vodka and still felt like more of an adult.
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