so the car was packed with everything from my dorm, plus my mom. during the 6 hour trip home she found my kama sutra. started flippin through it.....
oh shit that had to have been awkward
i thought so too. until she asked what the check marks were for
You screamed 'pound me, you big thick stud.' I looked around for porn cameras.
Shut up. I did not.
I really wish I was making that up.
Words of Wisdom: ordering a pitcher of whiskey cokes, putting a straw in it, and calling it your drink is not socially acceptable
Some guy on the train just glared at me. So I'm drinking tequilla out of a dixie cup. Go fuck yourself.
Thursdays are my worst days
but now we sippin champagne when we thirstay?
My social work teacher just told our class about her bicurios adventures in college
is she hot?
She is now
I just masturbated into a dress sock. I feel fancy
So dude, she and I just got done having the most amazing sex, and then she rolled over and said that "lets make some tacos" and proceeded to the kitchen... naked... I'm buying the ring tomorrow
Even the French judge on the olympics would give that a 10
You are NEVER going to guess whose penis was JUST in my mouth!!!
I'll give you a hint, we ate paste with him in kindergarten.
The cops walked in and cracked up bec he was passed out on the couch in a pink tutu.
I haven't been this unsober in a long time. I feel like I am observing myself. Like I am a test subject for alcohol. I wish my brain would shut up and let me be a normal drunk.
Oh my god. That was the best half-hour of my life that didn't involve genitals.
she pointed to my dick and said you are going to save the world
I went to a swingers party and came home with a boyfriend. I love my life.
I know right, I would blow him just for the satisfaction he would taste like vodka
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