His dick was poking my bladder. That big...
man, work is way more interesting with these acid flashbacks.
the higher we get, the more he looks like ray charles.
you woulda been proud of me tonight though. i only made out with 2 guys. and in my defense one of them was to get a job after graduation.
I'm going to see if it catches on fire again, then I'll make the decision.
Why have her stay eight hours when I only last eight minutes?
well i mean she can't stop a weed based friendship...its like a trying to stop a bomb or a really fast train...
I wasn't an ass in college so much more like I showed my ass a lot especially during serious beerpong games. You know I don't fuck around when it comes to sports.
Winning pick four numbers were just 6969... if I were 18 I could've won 20,000 dollars.
The blow job award ceremony was a little much. You guys didn't need to call out what happened the night before.
What? How can you say that? You won!
fucked a girl in the dry storage closet at work. knocked over a whole rack of tomato paste and pinto beans. and also i really hope my manager doesn't review this footage from the security camera
You're the only guy I know who could convince a lady at the pharmacy to trade you her pain pills for your antibiotics.
Ahhh the shame of taking out my recycling
our moms work together...I can just see the conversation now, hey your daughter ruined my sons marriage, that's probably how it will start.
What are u up to today?
Marathon sex and eating.
Randomize
