OH MY GOD! I just remembered how we ended our bar time last night: picking up and drinking random drinks that ppl had left. wtf is wrong with us?! that's so ghetto!
No. You're kidding.
I am not. I wish I were. I speak the truth.
so I was thinking like, Rob Pattinson could make so much money whoring himself out dressed as Edward Cullen.
yeah, I mean if he's down to fuck a lot of fat chicks and stare at Tiger Beat posters of himself above the bed...
P.S. theres no milk for breakfast, but theres plenty of beer or red wine. you decide.
He said that if more girls show up hes not going to ask ages... Spoken like a true sex offender
Hookup with hot guy from gym, check. Wake up to find he's peed in my closet, double check.
Bartending School is so much more enjoyable now that I realized I was in rehab at this time last year.
we've decided to start cutting you off when you can't figure out how to work an ipod.
Just got a blowjob on the pier where my great-grandfather entered America.
if creating a fake 8 year old brother, who lives with me and has had mono for the past month, to explain why I have ignored my group project members is wrong, then I... well then I'm probably going to hell
I mean, I love her. But not "I'll have a threesome with her." Type of love.
We will go to karaoke
Okay, well, i'm covered in paint, haven't showered & have already been drinking, so if I fall on the floor in a blaze of depeche mode & beer tears, you can't pretend you don't know me
My brain and heart say thanks but my vagina isn't super pleased with you right now
He took me home and by the time I woke up after catching up on sleep I realized I accidentally put on one of his fiances socks. whoops.
YOU SHOULD HAVE BEEN THE FIRST VISITOR TO CHRISTMASLAND
Let's ride this possibly pregnant train together
Randomize
