i just had a dream that i could control how black Will Smith was with a remote.i need to stop sleeping with the TV on
I have to collect my sorority sisters from greek row... I hate how being dd is a night and morning job
I honestly get shocked all over again every time I pull his pants down. It's one of those feelings you never get tired of.
Apparently in gay bars the restroom signs are just a formality. Its a free for all in there
He was the only guy who ever made me cry..
Who, the park ranger who made you dump out your beer on the beach?
ecstacy + fleshlight = not all that upset about being newly single anymore
So i am officially handcuffed to the pole on the party bus while taking jello shots.....this shall be an interesting night
I was behind him snuggling, I told him I was the big spoon and he told me I was too little it was more like he was wearing a backpack.
I woke up to Elf. I don't know which one of you put that in my DVD player when I passed out but I appreciate you.
with the way the semester is going, being a stripper is starting to sound better and better everyday
Is it rude to say "I hate you because you live inside Hillary Clinton's asshole"?
Well, if it's rabies, your lips will swell just prior to the frothing. Get a lot of good pics!
The beauty of getting kicked out of college again is I can fuck my professor's brains out and she can't get fired now
No idea who's grandma but people were just running around naked
I just named someones junk. I should not be allowed to talk to people.
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