She is totally STD
Is it a bad omen that my phone auto corrects dtf to STD
i just learned how to squirt via google. life is good.
Two words Indian burn...
What did she think it was, a shake weight?
so the plumber came, he found condoms, feathers and glitter in the pipes.
i will see naked twins by the end of the night. that's all i know
She passed out in the backyard, making "face down" snow angels ... so they could have a smile.
I love flavors. My neighbour is owide smoking and so am I. I'm adio boooooored and I need an adult.
So were u tired or drunk when u wrote last night's text message?
pills.
Hey will pizza rolls help if you accidentally get a diabetic chihuahua drunk?
First night sober since New Years. I'm not sure what hurts more, the hangover or the credit dread when I find out what the tickets to Bali actually cost.
i keep seeing little orange spots im starting to freak out
you tried mixing adderall in your visine last night..
Don't worry you weren't as drunk as you thought. You only fell 4 times.
We broke the bed while I was handcuffed to the headboard and let's just say that was a hard one to explain to the RA
he woke up this morning, drunk as fuck, butt ass naked, and he had left grandmas gun on the counter and doesn't know why.
Well the hawks lost... so, of course, the only logical course of action was a bonfire in the middle of the street.
I just turned down an invite to sit on a face. IDK who I am.
What? Are you sick?
Randomize
