How bad was it?
You ran around telling everyone that you were going to click them to death on google earth
Cumbucket.....OH MY GOD THAT COMES UP AUTOMATICALLY NOW!!
im sitting in a tub with a sombrero on.. im just kind of confused.
To the genius that put everclear in my humidifier: your time is coming.
After we drank 3, we built a raft out of the empties and installed the fourth submerged In the water to keep it cool. Keg boats are now a thing
You asked the bartender if she was trying to get you drunk. She cut you off after that.
Just got smoked out by my boss. Working in politics is great.
So did I or did I not flash an entire concert last night?
I will run into the sunset with a fist full of condoms.
We probably are going to die. So. Thanks for agreeing to be my Maid of Honor even though I torture you.
Sorry I wasn't opportunistic about sucking your dick in an Uber last night
Reading becomes significantly more difficult when people are having crazy loud sex in an adjoining room
He sent me a dick pic from a port-o-potty in Boston. If that's not love Idk what is.
Well, if you do die, I'll bedazzle your coffin.
Highlight of the day: got a bunch of drunks to sing baby shark.
Randomize
