i just had sex bonerless
is there any particular reason you took a shit in a zip lock bag and left it in my refrigerator?
Someone sharpied 'shit show' on my tits. Someone with excellent penmanship
If I send you a picture of the guy passed out in the bath tub, will u be able to identify him?
I mean I knew we were putting on quite a show but I didnt realize HOW good until I woke up and 4 people were passed out with their ears to the bedroom door.
Just think about how many life skills I lack. Cooking... Driving... Sobriety...
$5 long island pitchers = roommate pissing on his laptop at 3am.
she had that "i just got used" look on her face when i kicked her out at 5am
You peed on someones bathroom floor while saying people are rude for not flushing
She is currently drunk and caressing my professor's face with one hand.
I'm worried because he hasn't removed it.
You were just so carefree! People were like, "there's broken glass everywhere" and you were just like, IDGAFFFFFFF
Shout out to this stomach virus for helping me prepare for whatever slutty Halloween costume I decide to wear.
Props to the guy blatantly doing coke in the bathroom at the bar. Walked out of the stall with a credit card in hand, sniffing loudly and shouting "choo choo"
its times like this i wish i didnt have a penis
I'm too hungover to Google him and try to save face.
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