the truckdriver in the lane next to me just looked down and motorboated in my direction.
Do you know how hard it is to conceal the fact that you puked all over the bed that someone is sleeping in?
i'm not a hellocoptur, but youer in a dorm ans im un a dorm
How do you feel about fucking me quick and then me leaving to go do arts and crafts?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Dude...that line about her giving me a blowjob to get rid of her hangover actually got rid of her hangover. Spread the word.
I made Mark strip for me and do a stripper dance. I put 2 dollars in his mouth
The amount of precision it takes to urinate into a 2 liter bottle while hammered is undeniably difficult.
She apologized again the next day. I said it was pee under the bridge
He was so fat that he broke two of my ribs
Maybe it's time to stop screaming I'm a chubby chaser every time you enter a drinking establishment
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Thanks. It's every girl's dream, right? To blow a bald marketing consultant 12 years her senior?
I'm determined to sit on that face.
as a side note pls kill me
You rolled over grabbed my crotch and said "that's my waffle." I'm sleeping on the couch next time.
I always know im high when I can't remember how to pee.
Nothing kills the mood like opening another guy’s dick pic in bed
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