im orety awesome arent i? relly i know i am
cant believe you said you would bone perez hilton
i said paris hilton
thats even worse
next time dont tell jokes :) miss bonerkill
all i know is i woke up with a braid in my hair and i vaguely remember a cab driver telling me he would give me $10,000 to get him a green card. and he would take me to turkey. and give me free cab rides. im never drinking on my medicine again. lol.
Jeremys mom is here. I gave her mad jello shots and now were griding. ima give it to her: ultimate payback for him fucking my gf.
Just cleaned up my puke with my lecture notes.
I want a vodka facial right about now. I'm talking about straight vodka bukkake
I'm surprised I haven't crapped out a leprechaun, I'm so hungover
He played pinball with my ovaries. He won.
I kept on yelling at him to get his shit together as he was puking
Black magic does not go near my vagina, it's a rule
It's becoming clear to me that I am not sugar baby material. I don't think I could handle old balls long term.
Wanna go on a picnic?
... by picnic I mean wanna sit on a blanket and drink with me?
you walked 30 min all the way back to the dorms at 2am?
i was more bummed that i dropped all my skittles.
Was that before, or after strip tac toe.....
Randomize
