oh good, I think they're gone
the painters?
my herpes
I'm texring you during a blow job. She thinks I'm looking shit up. Fml. Ftw.
Spencer Pratt, I WILL beat the shit out of you someday, I Promise
just saw my sister at the strip club... dont think she's "taking a night class over the summer"
he clicked a button a stirrups came down from the ceiling... if I don't come home by sunday, report me.
My mom just walked in on me and my girlfriend about to have sex. All she said was "You're lookin like a fool with your pants on the ground.."
Sorry, can't come over. I have to spend time with my niece. Her Dad ignores her and I don't want her to have male attention issues like you.
No, we talked about it. They're cool with me living here as long as I sleep with them both.
You're a rent hooker.
Hooked up with 8 guys, puked 4 times, got a few bruises, and my face is still numb... I think this visit has truly impacted my college decision
I think the camel was justified in biting me.
It's really not cool dreaming about going into labor with your ex boyfriends love child as you're sleeping next to him.
You were peeing on a bus yelling fuck public transit, congratulations.
I am just saying if Clark Kent walks into your life, you fuck him
You both snapchatted me that. Like, I just got a double dose of penis pastry.
Just saw a fat guy on a flower print moped. He's my hero.
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