IM SAVING ALL MY LOVE FOR YOU
I don't want it.
i want to cheat with him just to show his girlfriend what a terrible person he is.
I had to throw up. it was the only way to avoid kissing her after she swallowed..
My gynecologist inadvertently complimented your penis.
When we found you, you were using the bottle of Captain as a pillow...with a note on your forehead that said don't wake up the champion.
sleazy september. first one with mono loses.
I woke up with a fake mustache stuck to my chest and I can't even hold down water.
Oh man. Realized I was high when I realized how long I'd been watching Roseanne
Well I don't know him that well so I don't think I can give advice. You should make him a cake. Or have sex with him.
He asked me if I remembered touching his police badge. awk.
Blowing a married man is so much more important than a 12 year olds basketball game.
I almost don't wanna have sex with her because I'm afraid she'll steal my hat
I'm eating cheesecake with my hands completely naked while falling asleep
I found out he hated a girl that I hate so I fucked him. My reasons for fucking guys are getting bad.
Be there in a sec. We have to stop at Target to buy her underwear first.
Randomize
