hey can you give me head? jesse told me that you're really good
who is this?
jesse's little brother
I woke up with spaghetti in my mouth
closing bar tabs have helped me with simple math in college.
he ate out my asshole, i really don't think he gets embarrassed easily.
Horny girl and non horny girl have different views on life
This needs to stop. I just vacuumed the wall. Adderall is a double edged sword.
All that matters is I got the megaphone home safely
Consider it an appointment to improve my blow job capabilities.
I can't feel my tongue. And that means go. Green means go. And you know what Barney says. Green means go and woah means no. DRIIIIINKK
well after pounding on the ceiling for 5 mins i just went up there to tell them to shut up.. 2 hours later i'm naked, high, lying on their kitchen floor. it escalated so quickly
Another development in my life...I think I pulled a muscle in my neck from vomiting this weekend.
Don't judge me 👊🏼 his dick just whispers my name
My autocorrect won't finish pterodactyl for me and I'm feeling personally attacked.
i found you passed out on the floor with a half-eaten pie. i figured youd be the last person to care if i went and banged your sister
What you have to understand is that our lives aren't a disappointment so much as they crashed and burned with lethal doses of radiation and dog shit.
Randomize
