I have a hot bod, but my face sucks, what can i do?
im so horny i just used my electric toothbrush to masturbate. god help me
TLC. RIGHT NOW. PRIMORDIAL TODDLERS.
you kept falling over in mid-conversation and you just got right back up as if nothing happened...
He told me I had nice tits + they have a great shape. + then proceeded to flatten my boob + show me what the gross tits he's seen look like.
at least you know where his tattoos end, so it wasn't a complete waste of time.
But first time having sex and he went down on me twice?! I'm gonna marry this guy
I'll make sure to include that in my bridesmaid toast
She is larger then a hippo. You could cut her open in the middle of a blizzard and crawl in like Luke skywalker. Throw a couch and a tv in there and you're set
We are keeping it ultra classy drinking 40s and playing croquet with 90s rap blasting in the back ground
I wasn't vocally whispering "she wants to bite your dick off" about that kirsten girl was I?
Do you have any need for a scary clown mask?
Planning a foam party. Swimsuits are mandatory, and please no granny suits. If you wear a granny suit I will stick you in the corner and put a cone hat on your head.
They're either celebrating their tax money or trying to kill each other.
I twisted my ankle while drunkenly playing in my adult kickball league. Now I'm having to use my grandpa's cane to walk at this party. I am so single.
I know you told me I shouldn't go see him...that's why I'm texting you letting you know I made it home safe from his house this morning
Randomize
