so ur a construction worker, male escort, sex god and surfer? lol
well its been awhile since I've surfed
I just heard a girl say "We can't go that way, it is a one way street." She was on foot...Nothing worse than girl from the midwest that move to NY to "live out their dream" -the dream of living in a rat and roach infested 200sqft for $2k a month, and get fucked by some recent Ithaca college frat grad...
Sign #1 this conference will suck: Ice breaker question, how many proud virgins do we have in the room, overwhelming response. Looks like I'm not getting laid this weekend.
Is it bad that your cum tickles when I swallow it?
Speaking of morons, I just found half a Subway sandwich in the bathroom drawer You or your brother?
I just realized his fb pic was taken in a public bathroom.
FOUR LOKO IS YES. SUNDAY MORNING DRUNK IS YES.
If she wants to think that freshman 15 means sleeping with 15 guys than so be it I just gotta make sure I'm one of them.
MISSING: One left eyebrow. Reward if returned.
She was pretty drunk. It was like watching a puppy explore the world for the first time.
hey fuckhead. when i said not to grow shrooms in our apartment, that didn't mean "yea, sure. grow shrooms in our apartment"
And i'll likely end up sleeping in a bush wrapped up in my poncho
Then she looked me straight in the eyes and asked me if I missed my foreskin. Weirdest conversation ever.
You took one look at him and said "let's hope I don't remember this tomorrow" then you took another shot and chased it with a beer.. I guess it was a success.
Who put the toilet in the living room? This is extremely inconvenient right now.
Randomize
