I think I speak chipmunk. Odd.
Are you high?
No. That's why it's odd
cant go down on her man, her vagoo reminds me of a face hugger from aliens
The more I sober up, the more sick I am/realize how weird dancing around a wine bottle was
So he asked me last night if I would cheer him on while he masturbated...
I just left during the middle of Chemistry to go throw up in the bathroom....and you laughed at my travel toothbrush.
I don't even know why I got my vag waxed
Ugh, tell me about it. As each day passes and the hair grows more, I get a little more depressed.
Absence makes the cock grow harder.
I woke up to a bag of pies and a lot of questions
You get home ok?
Uh, you stopped by my house at 4 am and woke me up, so yeah.
Just walked by a girl saying to her friend "honestly you coulda given me any dude and I woulda fucked him"
You should've introduced yourself
In other news my pubic hair is covered in glitter.
Dude I turned down free booze. I think I'm growing as a person.
I slept like a rock because of your dick. I'll thank him personally later.
Broken heels while double fisting margaritas, picking up shirtless, bloody men and escorting them out of harms way, the meltdown when I realized I can go without a bra bc my boobs shrunk, the morning vodka red bull you were forced to drink? Which one roped you in?
Just did the "lost my phone, need #'s" post and I got a text saying "go ahead and save me as Ashley-DD because I know you will anyway. I think I love her.
Randomize
