Have you ever slowed down next to the oldest people on the highway while getting road head just to see their extended reaction?
I woke up with a picture of my dick as my background. still wondering if it was a good night or not.
Dude, I just scraped frozen vomit from my rooftop
I really wish I could say this is a new low for you
you convinced me to pee myself because I was wearing dark jeans.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
And she was like "I wanted you all for myself, to love you, and treat you like gold."... See this is why I shouldn't fuck Italian chicks...
Petting the cat and listening to "you've got a friend". This is why I smoke weed. To make sense of situations like this.
I will forever be haunted by the image of you hurrying to finish your Jimmy Johns sandwich in the Taco Bell drive thru so you could proceed to order $17 dollars worth of shitty Mexican food.
Who wouldn't want a man who can knock a guy out but also loves the bachelor.
It's the best of both worlds
You were dancing to the Bee Gees, at 3am, with a piece of ham on your head. Moral of the story, You can't drink.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
if people come over to pregame will you hide my Oreos
His pet bird was perched ON HIS DICK.
I just had a visual of u banging and screaming at him at the same time.
Yeah, oh and the story gets better. His friend was dressed as a christmas tree wrapped in twinkle lights and had to plug himself in the wall all night.
MY TITS JUST CAUSED A CAR ACCIDENT ON THE HIGHWAY! i kid you not!! i thinl the giy is actually dead
I only gave you one rule about using the beach house: don’t get cum on anything!
You’ve seen my tits! You had to know that rule was unrealistic! Does it help that he was really cute?
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