I'm watching harry potter...good thing I already know I'm gay
I was sitting behind this girl in class and she logged out of her facebook, hacked into her boyfriends, and then proceeded to check his inbox. This is why I'm single.
Was just practicing flip cup with my NyQuil cup...
just woke up in the hotel with gummi bears all around me and someone took the tv
we took the tv and as for the gummi bears don't eat them you put em in her vagina
totally worth getting kicked out for trying to throw my drink on lindsay lohans ankle bracelet.
in my drunkeness I still was able to plan for the morning. I duck taped my keys, a water bottle full of mimosa and my cell phone to the front door.
You'd be proud! I didn't lose my id this time... It got confiscated
you walked in on him eating me out and screamed SHE'LL BREAK YOUR HEART BRO before body slamming on the ground and passing out on the floor
Question: trumpet bong. Can it work.
They don't even know who I am but they just woke me up with maracas and invited my boobs to a kegger
Why is there ANOTHER stolen fire extinguisher in my room? You know that's a felony right...
Ain't no cockblock like hearing the word"HOOODOOORR!" shouted from the bedroom floor while in the middle of sex.
Fuck you and your fucking taquito's.
His parents came home, and now I'm hiding in a closet; awaiting death at dawn.
You are always hiding in a closet though??
He asked the waiter, at 6:40 am, drunk, if they served alcohol. After he said no, he's like 'well, I guess we can eat then.'
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