he just kept going up to random asian girls and yelling at them for breaking up the beatles
I finally got laid.. you said it wouldn't happen.
I take back everything bad I said about that song party in the usa. There's just something about seeing a cross dresser lipsing it that makes a song sooo much better.
Dude. I have been looking at your movie history on netflix and it is like looking at the rings of a tree. Only instead of telling me how old you are, it tells me when you were stoned.
Using 'equal to a modern day cock block" in term paper, inappropriate
Typcal friday morning so far. Puke, shower, commute/puke, coffee, puke, coffee, bagel, good to go. Lunch today?
Im gunna just be that one ballerina in the low V leopard thong leotard and everyone else can be boring and prude with their little pink tights on.
In hindsight combining orgy Thursday with mystery drink madness was begging for failure
He ran into the surf holding up a cigarette yelling "let the Olympic games begin!" So no, no vodka left.
I told him I felt we were at the point where if I saw him talking to another girl, I'd probably choke him out. So I guess you could say things are getting serious.
He should just accept that I want his dick and his friendship. Can't he understand that I don't do emotions?
WE'RE MOVING TO IRELAND!!!! DON'T ASK QUESTIONS JUST BOOK THE DAMN FLIGHT!!!!
That moment when you sit down to shit and someone is watching porn on the other side of the wall.
Why is there a wet sock in my garbage? Why did I chug so much red wine? Why was someone signing into my iCloud account at 4 am in China? Why do I do self-destructive reckless things? So many questions.
His face will be in my vagina later so I'm willing to forgive.
Randomize
