well apparently i yelled MY VAGINA WAS ANNIHILATED and his whole family heard
you need to do more things constructive for your career. like wearing pants more often.
those are the first brownies ive had since i was 13 that didnt have weed in them.
Will you please bring me a line of coke at work without asking questions?
Well she just peed in a pot and is now trying to boil it
If I ever die and svu has to come to my murder scene make sure they know I don't wear underwear always so it might not be as bad as they think
Dude. I have so much pot that i only worry about running out of lighters
work has become about six times more interesting since i started fucking my boss.
I just crawled out of bed at 5AM to make her a peanut butter and Nutella sandwich. Somewhere in the distance, I could hear whips cracking.
Hello. You don't know me, but word on the street is that we are now eskimo sisters. I feel like we should go out for coffee and compare experiences.
Well he was saying something about being emotionally unavailable since his dad died, but then I blew him in a tree and he shut up
Can't decide if it was more awkward buying sheets together or disposing of them afterwards
Sitting naked, eating lucky charms with rain boots on
Shes the whorey leader of that wolf pack, and all the less whorey wolves report back to her. She teaches them the ways
You were drinking tequila through a straw.. and kept waving your arms at me and getting this intense stare down as you muttered something about jedi mind tricks.
Randomize
