I feel like ignoring a facebook event is a lot like a pocket-veto. The only difference is instead of opposing legislation, I don't want to go to your sketchy party.
How does she give head with a nose like that? It looks like she has a plantain stuck in the middle of her face.
she was most def 27.5% uglier than a troll, but the sex was great
DONT TAKE THE KEG OUT OF THE HOT TUB I NEED A PICTURE OF ME DOING A KEG STAND ON IT
It will be a surprise...all i can say is stripper clown
I'm stuck on the dance floor between two fat people. I don't think they feel my existence. Please help.
The only thing worse than being hungover is being hungover and not able to open your mouth wide enough to eat a cheeseburger
He told me he deactivated his facebook because his girlfriend caught him wackin it to my profile picture.
10 points to you
You've fucked so many I should get a word bank when you make me guess these things.
At the end of the date, he asked if he could kiss me. I really wanted to say "dude, I didn't shave for nothing"
About to throw up, bathroom line up, Bro sees me. Yells, 'PUKER GET OUT OF WAY' THEY ALL PARTED WAY THREW ME INTO A STALL AND CHEERED AS I THREW UP INTO THE TOILET. we are going back
The best part of the night was you shouting "I have to take the LSAT tomorrow" between shots of fireball.
Literally breaking up to my boyfriend while jamming out to Feraglicious
I hope April is a better month for dicks. March has been very disappointing.
sam was dropping a deuce next to me. wrote me a note that said "glad we shared this experience." passed it under the wrong stall. the other guy picked it up. that's all I know so far.
Randomize
