you dont need to remember merediths name haha. only jane
take 3 tylenol pm's and try playing basketball.
Make me a promise>>> if you ever see the brats from that tv show NYC Prep walking around, you will trip them, and you wil throw drinks on them
By the way, shout wipes are a gift from god for people that throw up on themselves.
I told her she has a very organized vagina; somehow she took offense.
I need to have sex with you on our hotel room window ledge... This is a need not a request.
i watched you ride a mechanical penis. nothing is awkward between us anymore.
I mean turning down birthday sex is never the answer
So it's national ass day?! I love October. No bra last Saturday and now ass day. This is my month. God is dedicating this October to me!
Today's been pretty great, I went and bought the new Batman for the sole purpose of masturbating to Bane
Novelty of the week: Getting my lipstick back in an evidence bag
My new successful method of booty calling is sending a screencap of a map with the shortest route from their location to mine highlighted.
Is this a Beer, Vodka or Whiskey kind of problem solving night? It's imperative I stock accordingly.
Questions like that are why I love you.
He was so drunk we almost didn't even make it to his place because he didn't know where he lived
three of my fingers are bleeding and the only thing on my phone rn is a google search of 'Allison Janney'
Randomize
