Just got a citation from campus security for an "accordion disturbance."
I'm sorry you missed class, the topic today is copy and paste. I'm not even kidding.
Wow, haven't had to deal with the 'stoned at the dinner table' scenario in a while
there was a fucking fire juggler. but it was ok bc i was in the kiddie pool and it was the safe zone
Quick question. What's the protocol on going back to a bar after going home with one of their bartenders?
Go back and try to find another to go home with.
Glow parties are what I live for
Your priorities in life astound me
ugh... thank God for ATM withdrawal limits. I was drunk enough to give that weird shaped stripper all of my money while making her cry in the back room.
The pastor just stopped the sermon to lay hands on me. THAT hungover.
I just crashed on my couch and have no intention of ever getting up again
I will be over with a bedpan and beer
At what point did you realize I was getting blown under the table during our dominos game?
Yes she was blowing me but I couldnt see her face. The only light was from the sparklers she asked me to hold. I love 4th of July.
I seriously doubt I'm gonna be able to properly put your dick in my mouth whilst upside down, but I'm willing to give it my best shot
Oh my god I'm in a public bathroom with a space heater. I never want to leave
Yeah ok. We can maid of honor each other since you don't like my boobs enough to lesbian marry me
Yes we can sext. I'm taking my socks off.
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