i kinda do this "flirt with girls and pretend to be a hot white guy named chris" thing
I need a sticker that says "It's no use hitting on me - I'm the plus one" Seriously, how do they think I got in in the 1st place?
he showed me his boner with his cell phone light during the movie.
I feel wrong giving my mom a cash gift full of dirty stripper money.
Do you recall us playing flip cup on your head?
There's some drunk girl alone in the field, she looks like she could use some help.
Also it's only fair that you know that that girl is me.
Missing both credit cards and just had a flashback of grinding my nuts on the terrified cab driver for amusement. i am feeling a slight hate for myself right now.
I still have his teeth marks on the base of my penis. You didnt miss much
sorry bout that man. went out to pay the pizza boy, ended up hooking up with some random drunk girl that thought i was someone else
Apparently, "please don't I have to be in court tomorrow" is not a valid excuse for a girl to abstain from giving a massive hickey.
I have walked into stripper central, but I'm on the street at 1:00 in the afternoon
I've been on the toilet for an hour. On a six day bender. My ass feels like its leaking vodka
I took a vibrator for a weekend with my parents instead of a boyfriend. I obviously have my life together.
I was just seen throwin up on the bookstore building near a trashcan by parents. Naturally I throw a thumbs up and say go college
I am going as Rudolph for the Christmas Eve furry orgie.
Is Santa taking the sleigh of slutty reindeer around the neighborhood again this year.
Yes. Several neighbors have requested it.
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