need another drink. this is the easiest way
don't you miss dr. quinn: medicine woman? i do.
how drunk are you?
What does that even mean anymore?
I don't have any food so I made a martini so I could eat the olives. Don't tell me I can't think outside the box.
Good. I hope they all got E.Coli from snorting coke off of some homeless prick's asshole.
I feel like I got hit by a truck. Or a baby dinosaur. One of them ran over my body and then stuck me in a blender of fire and storm clouds
Thank you for not boning my boss.
My last 2 google image searches were 'a lot of pudding' followed by 'a generous portion of pudding'
It wasn't a great time! You grabbed me, picked me up, and make me pee in the sink!
He was late, on account of he accidentally went to the Al-Anon meeting across the hall, and it took him 30 minutes to realize he was in the wrong room.
Was it cause you feel bad for the ridiculousness my vagina goes through because same
I think I met my butt stuff soulmate
Do you think it's illegal to drive without your pants on?
Fuck you. All I remember from last night is telling random people that I'm in a "judgement free zone" then I threw up
You poured all their beer into ziploc baggies so it would be "better on the go"
Randomize
