I just rolled a spliff on a dora the explorer tv tray. Preschool education meet afterschool special.
I'm cleaning the house. And I can't stop listening to Enrique Iglesias. Am I gay?
I even have the new album if that helps you make a decision.
well we are all hammered and my parents are reminiscing about all the times they drove us home drunk from Christmas
Sorry I didn't wanna double team his sister. Having whiskey dick and watching you get laid didn't sound appealing
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I swear it's like I have a jerk off quota I have to meet each week. If I miss three days I have a wet dream and it's like a wasted jizz, and it gets everywhereeeeeee.
as we were driving back from the frat house he pulled down his pants and convinced me his penis "wanted some air"
So that wine I told you about is vile...
That the stuff you brewed in your dorm closet? Are you actually going to drink it?
Yup. It's drinkable. Might go blind, but I've got to use my chemistry minor for something.
I am seriously thinking about wearing a blanket as a cape. So when I pass out tonight the blanket might keep me warm.
I don't remember how I broke my nose last night, but I woke up with dried blood everywhere. Also, you should tell that guy how you feel.
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Please let me buy the coffee, all my assets are in starbucks gift cards
who has a one night stand on Christmas ? But he's pretty attractive so thumbs up
Maybe whip a sausage around while you do it and pour some beer on you. Like a German white snake video
I knew my sister shouldn't have gone to the bacherlotte party. Two of the other brides maids have black eyes and my fiancé called me and asked if this is the crazy she's marrying
Bro, she said she wanteo to fuck me with my white Nike cap on so I resemble a douchebag. I think my choice of women might be coming into question
Are you seriously getting this frustrated over a hand-job right now?
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