Whoa!!! Accidentally took a dump in chick's bathroom at Red Robin. 1 hr for coast to be clear. Women's farts sound like geese taking last breath. Liars.
I'm sorry but when I'm riding in the trunk on the way to mcdonalds at 6 am I just don't want to listen to reba macintire
What happened to him?
He was walking right behind us then disappeared.. turns out he checked his luggage at a night club, continued to drink and dance, then slept on the 4th floor of some museum
Then he showed me his sketchbook. Every drawing was a hand in different 'fingering positions'. Dear JESUS.
This is great- I found hangover detoxifying bath salt online. It flushes out the alcohol. We need this.
I just feel like I should give it a rest. I'm too old to be drinking bottles of grey goose and falling into koi ponds.
Im still alive. Just can't talk. Or move. No need to worry
I think we should bring back the casual nipple tassel
I would rather get explosive diarrhea at the aquarium than go home alone tonight
Just got your message from Saturday. Shove all the kittens down your pants? Really?
I was emotionally compromised.
my mom tried to talk to me about my drinking, i somehow turned it around on her, now shes going to AA and I'm going to the bar.
If God invented something better than rough, drunken, lesbian sex he kept that shit to himself.
Are cops allowed to hit on you if they're in uniform?! Serious question.
Bacon and your penis are involved. Of course I'm going over.
He's petting your head, we need to leave now.
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