cant believe you said you would bone perez hilton
i said paris hilton
thats even worse
We just shotgunned beers for America
I have so many hands. So. Many. Hands. I can feel arms that I don't have yet. They tickle. I can see the blood in my eyes. I think something is happening. The hands!!! I'm ticking myself with hands I don't have yet! I can't stop giggling about my notyet hands!
Currently getting "blaow" buzzed into my pubes. How's your thursday?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Seriously. My vagina. Can we talk about it? It's gonna jump off this treadmill and devour my trainer.
Well he can play the xylophone with his erect cock... So he's got that going for him
Hold on, I need to find something to wear that says "I don't contribute to your daughter's drug problem"
We're taking a shot every time Landon Donovan takes a shot. It's clever, sort of.
I just quoted part of the Pokemon theme song in a sext... And it worked
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Remind me to NEVER AGAIN mix beer with tequila with beer with whiskey with vodka with rum with vodka.
My vagina just clenched in fear
Had a one night stand and didnt remember the guys name until he started sending me poems in the mail.
She swallowed the car key because she thought we were really going to make her drive.
the only fun thing to do here is drink beer and make mistakes. i feel like im in college again
You threw him in the dryer?
He went in of his own accord. Mumbled something about experiencing the blossoming of popcorn.
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