maybe we dont have boyfriends because we dont have tans
i think he just uses that whole "grew up in a castle" thing to get pussy
is she serious with that outfit? Why doesnt she just paste a for sale sign on her boobs?
My grandma just told me that she sharted, no I am not having fun in El Paso.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm 2 blowjobs away from girlfriend status....don't tell me I don't know how to have an adult relationship
We broke the shower door. Completely off. His roommates were not happy but I sure was
Yeah we call her cincohandjabos because she gave 5 guys handjobs one night in 5th grade
He drives a BMW. I have to fuck him. Girl Code Rule #26.
P.S. I just watched The Muppets. I feel like I just got a sadness enema.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You should not be allowed to go away on the weekends I plan on getting drunk on. I need someone to stop me from punching this guy in the face. It's simple room mate etiquette.
Best feedback on my performance so far: "There are things that can't be unseen."
Your children are clinging to me like my teets are full of bountiful milkiness. They're driving me nuts. I felt my uterus shrivel up.
Also, I cannot stop picturing myself in a bar, 3 years from now ordering soda. Just soda. 30 pounds over weight and wearing a cat sweater. I feel like I'm heading in the wrong direction in life.
We're ordering chinese food so if you want to get on this obesity train answer me now.
Even if they did assume we were doing kinky shit, it's not like they're gonna be like, "HALT SATAN! INTAKE SOME JESUS AND VOMIT YOUR SINS!"
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