kristin has been a bad kristin
she said shes getting her period tomorrow so she wants to have sex now. i didnt object. it would have been heartless.
ofcourse you didnt.
Because its an amazing idea and you're the only one I can think of that will allow a pirate threesome
Just had sex with your cousin. That's what you get for throwing away a perfectly good microwave. Hopefully you learned from this experience.
Apprently after I bit that bouncer, it all went down hill.
I planned on emotionally scarring him for life this weekend. DAMN YOU PERIOD!
I'm doing blow on my fuzzy rug
Come join me
he may or may not have motorboated me on the steps of the library of congress
Every bathroom has like throw up and like bagels in it. Richie didn't even have bagels.
brushed my teeth nine times since getting home, still afraid there are pubes hiding in between my molars. fucking gummy bears
you went to ralph's and bought all of their pears and left them outside my house
Accomplishment of the day: changing my tampon at 38,000 ft with turbulence. Fasten seatbelt sign was definitely on.
my drug dealer is also my eyebrow lady. Two birds, one stone.
The cops high fived after they tackled you
yeah we're all naked, and I think we just shaved Chad.
Randomize
