Just so you know, I have a bf.
I guess as long as you bring single girls over and cook cannolis you will still be useful.
im getting a BJ in a closet
and a penguin just handed me a bong
I'm quitting my job and I'm just going to become a professional drunk girls mistake.
Literally passed out while tubing... Boating while hammered is a blast but thank God for life jackets
It's a system.. i get to hook up with them and you get to play words with friends with them afterwards.
He needs to stop telling me how much he respects me. What does that even mean
I'm watching him slurp a whole mango out of her hand. It's disturbingly arousing.
Dude. The only thing that I use less than my dick is my tennis racket. We need to play.
do you think this outfit says "I maintained my dignity this weekend"?
I clipped one of my extensions in his hair to give him a rat tail. What is my life?
Cleaning my room at 2am, in just one corner I found six beers, half a pint of whiskey, my flask, 2 shotgun bullets, my crown and shimmer lotion.
I just bought a bong from a hot dog stand.
Can't decide if this guy is hot or if I'm just bored.
Sex is clearly the solution either way.
His cat watched us the ENTIRE time. Every time I glanced over the poor kitty looked at me as if I were pelvic thrusting her father to death.
I think he fucked my hip out of place.
Randomize
