Would you rather have a 10 inch but pencil thin penis or a 2 inch very fat one?
Fat, it's not about touching the bottom it's about raising hell of the sides.
Blowing lines off from the book where the wild things are... bad babysitter?
Why do i always get involved with 3 women at once?
Because life brings drama and thus like moths to a flame, women
The woman in front of me has a completely clear purse. I can see everything. It's ballsy because her vagisil is on display.
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Haha. We better find him. He looked like he came out of Switzerland's vagina, he's that much of a blonde beauty.
I want you to come here and listen to her climax and then tell me how funny you think it is.
We left the house and she said "let's go dick hunting" theres no way last night was gonna end up well
I think the world is coming to an end. Earthquakes, huricanes, floods, and now you say you LOVE him. Im building a shelter and going into hiding.
Guy in the room next to us in the ER is chanting "I'm jeff and I'm drunk". He's trying to get released to finish tailgating for the Iowa game that starts in 9 hours.
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I think the guy I was trying to dance with was an undercover cop...
I honestly don't think it will ever get topped. Unless a real female cop arrests me, then fucks me. That's it.
Have a booty call at 3am, stopped for tacos at 2:30. It's 2:55 and I still haven't ordered but can't jump the curb to get out of line because there is a cop in front of me. What am I doing with my life?
Had to admit my broken elbow was caused by vodka, not hockey
Idk if my headache is from the alcohol, the pot brownies, or being dragged down 8 flights of stairs by my ankles because i passed out in the 12th floor girls bathroom by you. Probably a combo of all three.
Sorry about you walking in on the whole nude kinect dancing. The new roomie was drunk and naked and told us he was either over dressed or we were under dressed for the party. And Amy figured it would be easier to join him than it would be to dress him
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