So instead of cumming in her, I peed in her...
What did she do!?
I didn't tell her...
then she made me sanitize my hands before fingering her...i may have found my soulmate
And then I'm going to yell into her vagina and see if it echoes
then the nurse gave me a bag with my personal belongings: phone, wallet. jacket, keys and a BTB burrito
I just got a facebook invite to join a group called "bring back the old franzia spout." i never want our generation to grow up.
The woman at the bus stop told me i smell delicious and asked if i wear cotton then proceeded to tell me about her shellfish allergy
I have pictures of you scratching against the sliding glass door on your knees screaming how you felt like a lamb.
I'm going for high school drunk, you've got 15 minutes to get here.
There's a time and a place for everything. Except for getting wasted at a work event, puking in the parking lot, and sleeping in your car overnight.
But he's not just anonymous male genitalia anymore. I've met him, I've seen his face.
Making a mobile stripper pole for the back of my truck memorial weekend. Is where dignity goes to die
Our DD will meet us there. The strippers are sending a limo to pick him up. He promised them New Years Eve massages. Said he would still drive us home.
I'm out of milk so I'm dunking my Oreos in Bailey's; this is my life now.
I want to eat a stick of butter
Did your pain meds kick in?
It tastes nice
Nice people suck dick too. I'm proof.
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