I just know... :) goodntight
Whoops, meant "goodnight", but the other is true too.
this is ridiculous... i look like a white version of MC Hammer...
he is training for a marathon but can't last more than five minutes on top. worst tuesday night ever
the semester isnt officially over until i take the batteries out of my calculator and put them back into my vibrator
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
did you seriously make the punch out of vodka and food coloring
Of all the things I am low enough to do, how could you even doubt if that was one of them?
will i regret this in the morrning? probably. but every decision is good during happy hour
If only we could all 3 say fuck school to be stoner flight attendants
I am too young to be this hungover
Is this your way of saying you want a sober 19th?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I dropped my keys into the toaster and felt it push down as I pulled them out. Couldn't stop thinking it was a bad idea the whole time.
I still don't know how you've lived this long.
She was just a sweet cute intern for us until I saw her naked in my bed the day after the Christmas party
You tipped the Uber driver extra for taking your phone away while you were drunk texting
If this gives you any indication of my current state, I stopped at Meijer after work and bought funyuns, pregnancy tests and chocolate.
Can't be considered a walk of shame if you pick up donuts on the way home
Turns out that fresh outta jail dick is quite something.
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