Vegas for my brothers bachelor party. Just landed and I have a boner. I'm giggly and teary eyed I'm so excited.
There is no point in being painfully greyhound thin if you are then going to dress like it's raining in 1992.
His best friend walked in while we were banging, turned on the light, yelled BURN, grabbed his computer to play the Thunderstruck drinking game, turned off the light and left.
have the fact that the early bird is danced upon by the prettiest strippers be your motivation
Woke up in my underwear and Christmas sweater. Only. Eggnog has won the battle but not the war.
He stole a bottle of grenadine from the bar. And got arrested. His new cell mate is going to love his bright red lips.
I paused mid sex to tell him I wished I'd taken up barrel racing so I could ride better.
I'm sad we weren't friends when I went through my "I like drugging my friends" phase
I found his belly button lint in my hair. Can't say it was worth it.
I just watched how this is made for an hour because I was tooo high to remember what they were making. it was like a prize at the end.
Is "I want you to destroy my insides" too forward?
Hey! I need booze. And penises. And a lot of mistakes that I will regret in the morning.
He was having this drunk emotional breakdown and I was just trying to cheer him up but instead fell and dumped the whole pickle jar on me
It was cool though because he was fine afterwards and somehow I convinced them I did it on purpose...
Weirdest drunk sex ever. His sweat dripped into my eyeball and then he looked down and asked me why I was crying. I went with it.
Remember when we thought adulthood would be different than college?
It is different. We had hopes and dreams back then. Now we're just alcoholics.
Randomize
