im poppin the ladies like they're bacne
That should be a holiday. like easter. but bulges instead of baskets
the pizza man had no reaction when jackie and me opened the door naked, i guess he's used to that shit
How did you steal an entire pie?
I don't know. It's in my purse.
Just asked the bartender if I could use the register to see my grades.
I feel like my vagina stays drunk longer than the rest of me. It's always super sensitive and hungry the day after drinking.
I like the odds of his and my children being professional athletes too. To support me in my old age, see I do think about the future.
Don't even start with me. You know damn well if you walked into a bathroom with two girls naked in the shower you would stay too. Regardless how drunk I was or whether or not you were my ride.
Stop touching yourself.
Wtf!?!?!?! Did you install a camera???
Well I woke up naked, with a santa hat on, and a bag of beef jerky next to me. So yeah, I would say it was a pretty successful trolley
As long as you keep bringing fries home, i'll keep being naked when you get home
I don't think stranger penis made your tonsils bleed
You were dancing to the Bee Gees, at 3am, with a piece of ham on your head. Moral of the story, You can't drink.
It was just like the old times. We watched movies and shit. But not like old times-i fucked her hot brother when she was in the shower? Times are a'changin.
You know that tattoo place next to Dallas? The naked sexy frog on my neck is proof that their "won't tattoo if drunk" sign is bullshit!
Randomize
