the vacuum is drunk
what?
i spilled my drink and tried to vacuum it and now the vacuum is drunk
Hot guy, man whore rep, huge crush, alcohol that will fuck you up. I fail to see how this could go wrong
My landlord doesn't knock anymore when he shows the apt... So i just had sex in front of a family.
didn't stop?
naw, they were rude, not me.
My BOSS just pulled out a box of Christmas stuff labeled reefs.
this is the last time we take the mathletes drinking.
I've just never had a dinner guest strut in, go directly to my bathroom, vomit.. then come out demanding whiskey and food.
P.S. I just watched The Muppets. I feel like I just got a sadness enema.
Our house almost burnt down last night. I woke up at 4:10am to the smoke alarm going off bc the bean bag chair was on fire so i extinguished it and smoked a bowl at 4:20 to celebrate my fire extinguishing abilities
At the drs she looked at my back saw your scratch marks and asked "does your back itch a lot?"
I just found out that order of 30 Beefy 5-Layers last weekend has achieved legendary status among the Taco Bell employees. Is there a Stoner Achievement for that?
Hold your horses dude. Titty pics are a work of art.
The old guy next door tried to get me to go to his apartment for shots formoonshine. =-0
If that weren't so sketchy I would encourage it
Yeah it was almost as sketchy as a white panel van pulling up offering candy
Vodka for breakfast. With a side of Frankenberries. Don't judge me.
Had to admit my broken elbow was caused by vodka, not hockey
I think my brain is throwing up inside my head. How do you live like this?
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