Wow so 15 missed calls, a vm AND a text saying come downstairs? ...And where is downstairs? Explain.
I dont get chicks, its like they only care about themselves and money
sounds like you understand them just fine
I'll start drinking again when I know where I am
I just made this asian woman on the boardwalk that was giving 20 dollar massages upset after I asked her if a happy ending comes with it.
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I shaved my legs finally. I am starting to remember what my skin feels like.
I told the girl in his bed not to bleed on his sheets like the last one.
True as that may be, are you coming to the birth of my imaginary child or not?
The plan was to get laid... Now the plan is to survive.
Bobbing for jello shots in a bucket of long island. Fast track to alcohol poisoning.
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I mean I puked all over three separate towns last night and I still think you're the one who should reevaluate their life.
I think I've been there, but who knows? I drink a lot
Imma do four shots of whisky within two minutes and pass out. Otherwise this'll go badly.
But we made up last night and had unbelievably crazy sex tonight. I legit went blind for like 15mins from him choking me. It was awesome
We showed up to the ER to pick him up and I was still wearing face paint from the game. Then I threw up in the sink. Those doctors did not like us at all.
where are you?
two trains and a bus walk of shame. so not worth it.
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