The new Black Eyed Peas song is the stupidest shit I've heard since the last Black Eyed Peas song.
Just found two Xanax on the floor at the tanning bed. And yes, Im taking them...looks like going to get cancer is paying off
if i were reduced to my simplest elements, i would be jizz and glitter.
This whole foot fetish thing is getting out of control. He would rather hold my feet than me after we fuck.
I just threw up in a patch of wild flowers on the side of the road. I never knew rock bottom was so beautiful.
his dad came out and found me sleeping indian style on the couch with my cup balancing on my boobs. didn't spill a drop.
It made me think of you cause he just screamed "CAPTAIN PLANET" a lot and kicked people in the balls.
there is a dorito bag in my car full of my mouth blood
Tonight, a friend walked in and said "oh look at that. Drunk on the living room floor. Just as expected." this is my life. This is my life.
Bud light lime after 12 shots of vladdy is like frolickin in a meadow of sweet flavor
And think got sick again from going outside naked. Word to all females...don't try the naked trench coat thing.
I would sacrifice a finger for two more hours of sleep.
Come over. And we'll put iced coffee in the bong.
are you watching the world series?
I've made out with alex bregman... so yes
No but seriously. Just had a guy lean over and sniff my head like it was a freshly baked pie
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