you took a scissor and started screaming "I WANNA KNOW WHAT ITS LIKE TO BE BALD"
I love Welcome Back Week...No I wont accept your god but i will accept that hot dog
its no coincidence her full name and "cling" are the same in t9
She started to tell me how she goes to a shrink, so I started thinking how to sneak out of her place, then she said part of it was for her sex addiction, long story short she's got her clit peirced n I just got laid
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
just did awkward shuffle by the bagels in the dining hall at 7:30 AM with a kid i've hooked up with. goodbye freshman year.
my fraternity brothers just had an intervention for me. i either have a problem or am just on some next-level shit, im gonna go with door number 2
I'm gonna have to fantasize about her dying just to get off.
Passing out is just my bodies way of protecting my liver.
His response today determines what state my vagina will be in this weekend.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I know. It's cray. Crayon. Crayolaaaaa.
Volunteering at a homeless shelter a bum asked if he could lick me cause I still reeked of whiskey. Being a bumsickle=epic hangover
I just tried to make cleaning gasoline off your shoes with toilet paper in the Chemistry Building bathroom look normal. I failed.
I tried to take a cute nude but sneezed halfway through. I sent it anyway
Funny story... I got into my car and my porn started playing over my Bluetooth.
I had a dream I hooked up with Post Malone. I can still smell the dream
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