Our logic class started an hour ago, I walked out and found my sister drunk, sitting down, eating m&ms, afraid to walk in... I want her life
You can identity the picture as me the mistress his wife and him. It's that kinda awkard.
Woke up today to the sound of church bells. My first thought was shit the apocalypse, but then I remembered my hook up lives next to a church. This might be a rough day.
Gotta admit I did think about bartering you out to the gay guys for $20 and the dudes flashy neck scarf
I heard moaning and ass slapping and sponge bob.
I left your tip in your mailbox. Last night was amazing.
So here's my pathetic thought of the day: what does it smell like to be sober?
I wore home his HoHoHo boxers. I've never felt such a connection to an article of clothing.
Hey, so I'm not coming into work til Friday. Some guy I've known for about 8 hours just offered me a free vacation to Maui and bought my plane ticket. He's Aussie so I'm 75% sure he won't murder me
He didn't call me beautiful but he came in less than five minutes so same thing, right?
You just gave me the title for the series of our lives. Haha. Chapter 12: the cocaine on the back of the hairbrush
holy shit the woman im hooking up with is closer to my moms age than my own
You told him about your cats? I told his friend to put his dick in my mouth, and you talked about cats!?
Well, he didn't buy me a birthday present but he sure did give me chlamydia so there's that.
It's hard to talk dirty with a mouth full of peanut butter
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