In all seriousness though I just found out the dog pissed in my bed it'd be nice to crash somewhere other than my couch while my piss soaked bedding is in the washer
So just talked to them hahah i like that people sat there and watched as you two made out... They said they even had to refill their beers
you just love her because she lets you bang her with fruits and veggies!
I dont know, my roommate got arrested but I'm gunna get some tacos no matter what
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I was puzzled last night that there were shots waiting for us when we got there. Just read my messages and saw you were ordering from the bar via texts.
it was like vegas minus all of the penis and death threats
I deem her datable let the dance of attraction commence
I am the slutty bisexual glue that holds this friendship group together.
I'm concerned that this blind man on the bus has a boner right now
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Well I mean enduring a 45 minute conversation about C-sections was worth the 9 jello shots those soccer moms gave me.
just reached the point where my breast implants paid from themselves in free drinks.
I just set my acrylic nail on fire while trying to light my blunt
It's not above me to sleep with him solely for his authentic budweiser shirt
Hi. Tara tells me your sandwiches and stamina are substantial
You whispered 'For Frodo', handed me your shirt, and charged campus security.
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