im about as happy as oj after his trial
I just spread your mom's ashes with my new girlfriend. I wouldve waited for you to fly home but she was uncomfortable in the house with her remains there. I'll mail you the urn since u handpainted it.
YOU HAVE A GIRLFRIEND ALREADY!?! WTF WE JUST HAD HER FUNERAL 3 WEEKS AGO!!!!!!!!!!!!
The girl next to me in class is taking notes on woman's suffrage with a girls gone wild pen.
Sometimes I wish I could peel his face off and use it to take all the money out of his account.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
she was stuffing dove chocolates in my mouth while giving me a blow job. GOD I LOVE VALENTINES DAY
Her brother was practicing the clarinet....it was like having sex in a starbucks
Just calculated that for my last final tomorrow I need 120% to improve my grade and 53% to keep it..buying 30 packs now, go get dressed
I don't know if you remember, but I was only wearing an afghan.
You were demanding water from a bottle but I didn't have one..so I just took the water bottle from the hamster cage. You're welcome.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
definitely not taking the whole return culture shock so well...drinking a 100 proof rootbeer vodka float out of a german beer mass
So how many licks to the face does it take to get kicked out of the bar?
Strip mythology. Everyone wins. Most of all me.
I just want to drink cheap wine and throw my bra at an aging singer songwriter
How naked do you want me to be?
You just thought it would be a good idea to show your penis to your best friend. No harm, no foul.
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