i wonder if she has dreads down there too...
The man at the Honda dealership told me I smell like vodka and probably shouldn't be driving.
What's bad is when she said "what hobo did you steal this dick from?"
Last night in my drunkenness I bought hurricane supplies which included a jug of wine and a bouquet of flowers. Apparently I'm going to woo Irene.
I come bearing gifts of whiskey and vagina
I came home wearing somebody's thong. If you're missing one message me privately.
Hatred of squirrels is the least of my hereditary problems.
I FINALLY GET TO MASTURBATE. SO EXCITED.
Today is an "outside sex" kind of day.
I remember grabbing your ass. So firm. So right. I don't regret it.
You know darned well I have a well-documented weakness for redheads, Subway and hand-drawn graphic novels.
so i put my jacket on last night that you wore last weekend, and reach inside the pockets and find them full of goldfish...
the snack that smiles back:)
The one time I decide to bring people over you are laying naked on the coffee table watching the ceiling fan cause "it just moves so fast" I'm guessing you got paid today??
I’ve had a lot of vodka, 3 different dicks and no food since last night. Come get me
He wouldn’t know a good thing if it bit him on the ass. Which, btw, I did.
Randomize
