i wants your nipples near my face. PLEASE????
dude we were spooning naked in bed with her ass in my crotch. she sharted in her sleep all over my dick.
and you said cock pushups were impossible
The boys in front of me put beer, red plastic cups, ping pong balls, lighterfluid, and twelve packs of pantyhose on the conveyor belt. Whatever drinking game they're playing, I want a part in.
At least our walk of shames never included a bag of chips and a jar of queso..
I just had sex on a bear rug. My life is complete.
I dare you try and top an Eiffel tower full of Margarita
She literally pulled the door off the hinges and "dropped" it down the stairs... Do I just say 'good job' and put her to sleep?
Had to go to the urgent for a physical and I gave them my fake. Nurse was a sport though
one of the RAs is here. he told me his name is optimus prime and then took his shirt off and fell down
What is the current exchange rate for ramen to jello shots?
His mom let me come to his house for a Booty call at 4am. She even cooked us breakfast in the morning and told me im a better moaner than his girlfriend of 4yrs.
Get the fuck in, we're going to Taco Bell.
Questions: How did Rachel get home? Why did I find both her ID's in my shoes? And does anyone know if she's alive?
Last night I had a dream that a man with an ice cream body entered a bicycle throwing contest and won.
Randomize
