just won 30 on black! Ok adicteddd! Never coming back gqmbeqing is easy.
now my debit card is betting 1k whoops. im gongk eh be rich!!!
whoops didnt work. think the gambeli mashine is busters!! now im betting 2k?! bad idea?
I literally just watched a girl motorboat herself
So apparently vaginal secretions are not covered under water damage insurance for my cell phone
I'm in the liquor aisle and a 10 yr old boy yells, "My favorite beer is Corona! Daddy remember when you gave me some on our camping trip?"
i slept with him so i could steal the screens out of his sink faucets for my bowl when he went to sleep. not because he's funny.
we found you in the closet, clutching coats that werent yours for stability
My sister was not impressed when she got here. I was standing in the doorway in my underwear drinking a beer. At 2pm. On a Monday.
I'm bringing cupcakes to work today as an apology for my actions at the bar last night, my boss probably can't look at me the same ever again
we left when one of the guys tried to stick himself with an IV that he found
Well I met my booty call's parents by accident, so that happened.
Oh and .... you'll love this: my life coach says you writing my online dating profile isn't a horrible idea.
We were fucking and his phone rang and it was his grandma. He just had a conversation with his grandma while fucking me from behind. Then his dad called and asked him what he wanted from taco bell.
Called Apple, my penis pics are safe.
holy shit I was not prepared for her to whip out that dildo
no, it was more of an i-don't-think-he-even-knows-what-a-clitoris-is, bad.
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