College reaches a new low. We just carved a shot glass out of a potatoe.
remember about an hour ago when i told you i was never drinking again? i may or may not be mixing malibu with caprisun. just saying.
No matter how fun it seemed the night before you will always regret taking those pictures, you will always regret eating as much as you did, but you will never regret the great lengths you had to got to get those bruises.
I wanna get so drunk next week I throw up on a guy's genitals. I want to be that memorable for someone.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Told him I'd blow him in the bathroom. There was a giant window everyone was looking thru. He whipped it out n I burst out laughing n walked away. Even blackout drunk I set the bar high. You should be proud.
Until you find your self finger banging supergirl in the middle of the dance floor while her friends are passing around for luigi mustache for a photo op, YOU HAVE NOT HIT MY LEVEL
would it be mean if I put better with the lights off on my sex playlist just for my hook up with him?
We shouldn't eat pizza in the pool
We r drinking tequila out a glass bottle and smoking weed underwater, pizzas the least of our concern
I just want to have beer shits in my own bathroom. Is that too much to ask for?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I need you to go into my room and get some pants then bring them and four band aids to Sam's apartment no questions
Of course that's what I'm wearing. I need to find a beard to mount and ride STAT.
I will be DAMNED if anyone but me breastfeeds my cat.
NOT PREGNANT according to the two dollar tree pregnancy tests I took in the tacobell bathroom. Come meet me at tacobell for celebratory soft tacos.
I flushed a potato down the toilet so now we have to live in a hotel.
I have a mailbox and I don't know why.
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