nobody is as good of a wingman as me. i make whoever im with look like mark wahlberg during his underwear model phase
I just did the classiest thing ever.
last time you said that you got chlamydia.
I went golfing for the first time today!! Aren't you proud?
Driving a golf cart around all day with a keg attatched to the back doesn't exactly count as golfing
She bought a fucking hedgehog. And that's just the tip of the crazy iceberg.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
guy in front of me at the pharmacy just asked the pharmacist for 2 Plan B's and replied with, "If your wondering, then yes I did have a threesome. It was amazing".
After he finished he proceeded to check my boobs for breast cancer.
cassie wtf are you alive??! no one has seen you for like seven hours whereeee did you go
IS IT POSSIBLE FOR A GUY TO NOT HAVE BALLS
you should probably know that there's a naked dude in your window
i wouldn't normally say anything but you seem to not be there
I feel like the only way to get him to stop is by telling him i'm tired from fucking our other friend every night this week
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
well i don't NEED my liver but it's nice to have one when you're trying to have a good time
Just laying in bed with my vibrator eating cold tortillas and listening to Savage Garden.
We had sex and then stood naked in his living room eating zucchini bread.
I can insert a female catheter, but I cannot grill a cheese.
would it be awkward if i bring my husband?
only if i fuck you in the bathroom while he's paying the check
Just bought 2 liters of wine and frozen waffles for dinner. Is this 30?
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