Where you at
assisting at a photo shoot in williamsburg till 7ish. wassup?
Doesn't matter. I already jerked off in your bed.
I'm surrounded by dudes and fupa's! No hot chicks...wtf!?
Medical industry, most hot chicks dont want to deal with blood + shit
youre talking to a girl on facebook chat right now and im sitting behind her in class lol. creepy?
so i hit rock bottom, god threw me a shovel. i continued to dig.
My New Years Resolution is to come up with a new resolution monthly. January: decrease my shotgunning consumption speed to 7 seconds or less.
No one understands that once a girl pours a handle of smirnoff all over herself, clearly she is wasted
He had to stop fucking her halfway through to do a shit. When he returned she was still waiting for him. The joys of MDMA
I'm covered in mustard and it looks like I nose dived in to barbed wire ??? Was last night that good?
was I really that bad?
you army crawled across the kitchen floor, turned the cat into "super kitty" and crawled into the dog cage
Impressive. I've never gotten straight denied and then chased the guy naked out of my own apt. I'll remember that next time.
Whore are you.
Is that a Yoda insult or are you asking me where I am?
Yes.
Did I leave the house with out a shirt or socks?
Yea, you said you didn't need them cause she was going to take them off anyways and that it would "save time".
I bought a box of wine on my way home. I figured if I’m going to be broke during the holidays, I might as well be able to drink about it.
ETA 20 minutes and if you greet me at the door with a gin & tonic I’ll give you head.
I told him to take his man panties off and take the fucking Jaeger bomb already, so no to a 2nd date
Randomize
