Afterall, it is the real San Francisco treat
you were so high you spent the rest of the night smelling pepper to prove you can sneeze with your eyes open
In a tragic sexting typo, I typed the word "blobjob". Now she's coming over and I have no idea what I'm in for...
Just threw up on my desk at work. They are making me go home.
That's why there are breakfast margaritas.
once you have herpes you dont really care what goes in your mouth anymore.
Jenny was looking for something soft to drink since it's only noon, she chose spiced rum. Think she might die today
i need to start using my dry humping skills. i was dry humping champion in 7th grade
I'm just crazy horny about you
I've honestly never felt so much emotion towards a wall
Update: that felon in Georgia I slept with is now a police officer. What a wonderful world
Drunk me really does appreciate that sober me made a list of movies to watch when drunk it saves so much time
Learn from my mistakes, you naive soul: Gay love triangles are just as dangerous as straight love triangles.
Should I give the penis ring toss game to good will or garbage
beach body workouts will consist of dancing and cocaine, and sugar free redbull
Randomize
