he just sent me a friend request on facebook. i wish it were physically possible to vomit on him through the internet.
you're kinda like the weird girl from The Breakfast Club after the makeover. i mean you're pretty, but you're still weird as fuck
What's the point in getting all dressed up and going when i'm just gonna throw up on myself by midnight?
I think her nose is broken... but I think she's just drunk enough to fall for the whole "sex releases endorphins, so it'll feel better" line.
Alright this has to stop. Without adderall I don't even have the motivation to get laid. College has ruined me.
basically at this point ill snort whatever you put in front of me and just hope
isnt this the same guy you hooked up with on his birthday and he then asked, "you were at me birthday?" the next time you were together?
Thank you for not boning my boss.
Who knows? Maybe we can sing afternoon delight into each other's genitals.
There are only four things in life that are certain. 1 Death, 2 Taxes, 3 The wu tang clan aint nothin to fuck with, and 4 you will never be more important than taco bell
How was it playing wingman?
I feel like I was rockys coach watching him get the shit beaten out of him by Apollo creed
It's time to run my sex life like a basketball team. Got the lesson Clint!
apparently when we were gone the parents play strip connect 4
She just kept feeding people pretzels and sayying "You're such a good goldfish."
I sent him a blank text because I didn't want to "drunk text" him.
Randomize
