Come home. Im drunk and cutting my own hair. This is bad, i need you.
what did you hear about me?
that you are a very nice girl and a pleasure to be around
that was hard to say and not laugh
votings over. no more wacking it to anti christine o'donnell ads
and do you remember when you were dressing me if i had money in my bra?
As per my father's affair, married men are no longer off limits.
We left at the same time. You got home three hours after I did and said you got your head stuck in a fence. I can't believe you don't remember this.
I don't think I'd trust a marching band with trampolines to not cause serious damage to themselves/ property.
Oh I forgot to tell you that while you were in the bathroom last night I made friends with a gay man named Rodger from Venezuela and he kissed me cheek and told me I "knew how to shake my thing". From now on we go to the bathroom as a team.
I keep confusing the name of her and her dog. Both are appropriate.
It's gay pride weekend and Father's day.. So in honor of the occassions I am now BI
Either that or he's gagged in a strangers trunk right now.
Well I suppose either way he's learning a pretty tough lesson right now.
Find me a cup with a lid so I can illegally drink in your car. I'll be there in bout 10 minutes.
I'm going through what feels like a break up with beer. I'm emotionally distraught from it's lack of presence.
I'm pants less watching buffy the vampire slayer drinking rum. I'm not that hard to impress
Woke up this morning with girl, I ask her for some gum. She says "there's a guest toothbrush for the boys in my bathroom". I can't decide whats worse, that she has a shack brush or that I actually used it
Randomize
