I want to stick my p in your. b.
So just talked to them hahah i like that people sat there and watched as you two made out... They said they even had to refill their beers
the best things in life are free. have that freshly fucked look and doing the walk of shame by HIS girlfriend.....priceless
I just saw a Puerto Rican child between the ages of 8 and 11 with a faint mustache talking very loudly on the bluetooth in his ear about how "Skittles are played the fuck out"
I can blatently call girls sluts here and they think i'm speaking norwegian
A houseboat for a bachelor party is a terrible idea, we nearly die when on dry land, so how the hell are we supposed to survive a 3 day binge on a massive lake?
It's stupid hot. I just want to be laying in a bathtub full of margaritas
Some guy is in my phone as Pat McAwesome.
I am so sorry for drunk texting you r kelly lyrics
For an hr, you were convinced you no longer had a right arm so you played Super Mario Bros with just your left hand vs Beth. You won btw, mite b why she refused to wear the unicorn head
Who told you that acid and Jurassic World was a good idea?
dont remember, but I'm pretty sure I was convinced that the hybrid dinosaur was satan the whole time. It was actually very spiritual
Does she know she is talking to people who slam shots of fireball and chase it with vodka?
I woke up with masking tape on my nipples this morning........... WHY DO BAD THINGS HAPPEN TO GOOD PEOPLE
you bleached my bangs. i have an interview later today and you assholes bleached my bangs.
i was so proud for not passing out at the same time as usual. i screamed that i had a "new personal best!" then some jackass explained daylight savings.
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